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My Beef with Babycakes
For those of you who haven’t stricken ¾ of the food pyramid off the menu, you may have yet to encounter Babycakes, a gluten-free, dairy-free, fun-free shop posing as a bakery. Aside from having taste-buds, my general dismissal of these baked I wanted to believe that this new gluten-free, dairy-free food fad would add pep to my morning hikes or an effervescent glow to my otherwise ruddy complexion. With that in mind, I set out to my local Whole Foods armed with my most recent paycheck in hand and my newest bookstore acquisition: Babycakes, New Yorks Most Talked-About Bakery. After scouring the market for free samples and collecting my ingredients for the gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free chocolate chip cookie recipe, I was ready to head back home and begin my new life as a gluten-free svelte goddess. One hour and a moderate kitchen mess later, my cookies were ready. Allowing them the appropriate-ish time to cool, I was ready to taste my new life… Oh. Good. God. Turns out my new life tastes like shit. Shitty chalky garbanzo bean rubbed down with tanning oil? Where did I go so wrong? Hoping that I had just goofed somewhere between measuring out applesauce and coconut oil, I headed over to the Los Angeles Babycakes location (I was an Angelino at the time) to measure my failure against their success. The Babycakes bakery, much like their book, was charming and cute. Upon entering the store, I was greeting by an equally charming and cute sales-girl who, upon hearing my lamentable cookie outcome assured me that, “these are like totally the BEST cookies everrr.” So, naturally, I bought a dozen. Scurrying off to my car, I opened my bag of treats, snapped off a wedge of the infamous chocolate chip cookie and popped it into my mouth… Dear, Erin McKenna, have you no shame? At least when Santa puts coal in a child’s stocking he doesn’t shape it like a bonbon! Their cookie was JUST as weird as mine. I bit into another, and another and another but that sickly mummified Coppertone aftertaste lingered in each wrinkly cookie nubbin. In time, I came to experiment with more of her recipes and have a relatively similar distraught encounter with each good. Chocolate brownie? Chocolate frownie. Even when bringing them to a potluck, they were left relatively untouched and at the end of the night, the hostess smiled and kindly offered me a Ziploc bag to transport my treats back home in. What it comes down to is simply this: Babycakes baked goods have the body of a baked good, but without the sumptuous butter, or rich egg yolks and decadently processed white flour. These items are truly the holy trinity of baking itself and without them your cookie is missing its soul. While I may never again resort to baking without the primary ingredients, for those of you who do sincerely suffer from gluten or dairy allergies, and MUST take to these baking measure, I highly recommend the baking prowess of Annalise G. Roberts. Her Gluten-free Baking Classis cookbook was a project created upon the discovery that her two sons suffered from Celiac disease. In a thoughtful attempt to make desserts that her two sons would enjoy, she eventually wrote what I believe to be the most successful of the gluten-free baking world. Test it for yourself with her gluten/dairy-free recipe for Blueberry Boy Bait (rumor has it that this treat was given its name back in 1954 at a Junior Pillsbury Bake-off when the winning girl announced that her treat was named after the effect it had on boys). Blueberry Boy Bait: Adapted by Annalise G. Roberts 2 Cups Gluten-free flour ½ tsp Xanthan Gum 1 tsp Baking Powder 1 tsp Salt ¾ Cup Shortening ¾ Cup Light brown sugar ½ C. Granulated sugar 4 ½ tsp. Ener-G egg replacer (mixed with 6 Tbsp. rice milk) ¾ Cup Rice Milk 1 Cup Frozen blueberries Topping: ¼ Cup Granulated sugar + ½ tsp. Cinnamon (mix in a small bowl) In one bowl, mix the first four ingredients together. In a separate bowl, combine the last 5 ingredients and mix well. Add the dry ingredients to the wet. Mix until combined and not lumpy. Add frozen blueberries and fold in. Place ingredients in a 9x11 baking dish, sprinkle with topping and bake at 350° for 1 hour. (…and for the non gluten-free) Blueberry Boy Bait: Adapted by Fannie Farmer 2 cups flour Mix together flour, sugar, and butter. Reserve 3/4 cup of this mixture for topping. To remainder, add salt, baking powder, milk, and egg yolks. Blend well. Beat egg whites until firm; fold into batter and pour into 9” X 11” baking pan. Sprinkle blueberries over top, and then remainder of reserved flour/sugar/butter mixture. Bake in 350F oven for 40-50 minutes.
Gimme Some Shuggah, Shuggah
Sugar is an important source of carbohydrate — the bodies main energy supply. 
10X is the pastry kitchen term for powdered sugar. The coarseness of the grind is given in numbers such as 10X for the finest, and 6X for standard sugar. And yes, it is notably similar in appearance to cocaine.
Homemade Oreos
The origins of the Oreo are nothing of a mystery. The year was 1912 and NaBisCo, better known as the National Biscuit Company shared with this fine country the cookie that would later be clamored as “America’s favorite cookie”. Though packaging has now been modified from its original, to the slightly more ubiquitous, slogan of “Milk’s favorite cookie” it is still primarily revered and eaten here in the U.S. of A. Perhaps lesser known to the typical sucroselubber is that the Oreo itself is, in fact, a knock off. Two years prior to the introduction of the Oreo came the original version known as the Hydrox. Similar in shape, size, taste, the Oreo was simply an impersonator with a far superior marketing scheme.
Sadly, the Hydrox, owned by Sunshine biscuits, could never quite shake being thought of as a mimic. Nowadays Carvel sells Hydrox cookies as the Kosher equivalent Oreo cookie topping at their ice-cream stores. Tough break. Homemade Oreos/Hydrox Makes 25 to 30 sandwich cookies ** Set Oven to 375 F For the chocolate wafers: For the filling: Step 1: In a large mixing bowl (or electrical mixer if you have one), combine the FLOUR, COCOA, BAKING SODA, BAKING POWDER and SALT in one bowl, set aside Step 2: in a medium bowl, combine the sugar and butter. Mix until light and fluffy Step 3: Combine the two bowls together and add the egg, mix well until the dough easily comes together. Step 4: Scoop out tablespoon sized mounds of the dough and, with damp hands, roll them into balls, pressing each one down flat. Bake on a cookie sheet lined with parchment (don’t skip this step!) for 8-9 minutes, rotating once midway through baking For the filling: Step 1: Mix BUTTER and SHORTENING together, add CONFECTIONERS SUGAR, and lastly VANILLA Assembly
Food Fact (another lesson learned the hard way)
My boss at the restaurant once told me never to leave egg yolks sitting with sugar unmixed. A fact I chose to completely disregard this week as I lovingly separated my yolks and whites and laid them on top of a bowl of glittering granulated sugar for a flourless chocolate cake recipe. returning to them some time later when I clearly felt less put upon to mix them together, I noticed tiny, gnarly granules of egg chunk that, hard as I might try, could not be whisked away. Ew. So here’s the deal with sugar and egg yolks and why they need to be feverishly mixed when added together: Normally you have the proteins from your egg yolks chilling in their cozy little cradle, just hanging out with the water. At this point, there is a lot of space for the protein strands to float about without bumping into one another and life is good and great. However, once sugar is added to the party, all the water wants to do is go over and chat it up with the sugar, leaving the protein strands all alone until they cluster together and make hard clumps of eggy protein in retaliation. 
I made this one recently and decorated it with some candy corn that had expired. I called the company to see if it was still ok to eat and they told me it would be fine, just a little discolored.
Hey there, Pumpkin
An awesomely creamy and flavorful pumpkin pie recipe. I understand that we’re slightly past the acceptable season to make this, but it took all holiday long to get the recipe juuust right, so let’s overlook that fact for now. I think it might be worth it. 1 Cup Heavy Cream 1 Cup Milk 3 Eggs 2 Egg Yolks 1 Tsp Vanilla Extract 2 (15 ounce) Cans Pumpkin Puree 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar 1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar 1/4 Cup Maple Sugar 2 Tsp Ginger 1/2 Tsp Cinnamon 1/2 Tsp Nutmeg 1 Tsp Salt *Preheat oven to 400 **You should par-bake you pie shell for this recipe (preheat for about 10-12 minutes), pumpkin takes a while to set in the oven so if you under bake your shell slightly, it won’t burn once its filled and back in the oven 1. Put the first 5 ingredients (CREAM, MILK, EGGS, YOLKS, VANILLA) in a large mixing bowl, combine 2. Combine all other ingredients in a large sauce pan, mix. Constantly stir mixture over a medium-high heat until it begins to boil, then continue stirring it for one minute. Then remove from heat. 3. Combine the second mixture to the first. Once well combined, you are ready to plop it into your pie shell. 4. Place your pie in the oven and bake at 400 degrees F for 1 hour, you will also want to place a shallow dish of water on the floor of your stove, the moisture from the evaporation will keep your pumpkin custard from cracking. mmmm’enjoy!
Let’s Talk Pie Dough
Well, according to NPR, it is the year of the pie. Hardier than a frilly cupcake yet less decadently sucrose coated than a slice of cake, I can understand how this came to be. However, for me, it’s not simply pie filling that tempts me when I go for a bite, but the flaky, tender crust that sandwiches the warm baked, gooey apple center. That being said, pie dough can be very frustrating to even the most experienced baker or cook, but after many trials and error (so many!), I’ve come to reckon that this here is the best darned fail proof pie dough. Slightly adapted from a 2007 recipe in Cooks Illustrated, I also use vodka instead of water. The reason for this being that vodka will burn off during the cooking process whereas water will beat up the proteins in flour to form gluten, making the dough tougher rather than flaky! However, for some added body and flavor, I substitute half the vodka with OJ. Have no fear, it doesn’t taste like oranges, it just tastes…well, fuller. ENJOY! serves 1 9-inch double-crust 2 1/2 Cup All Purpose Flour 1 Tsp. Salt 2 Tablsp. Sugar 1 1/2 Sticks Butter (cubed, chilled) 1/2 Cup Shortening (Crisco) 1/4 Cup Vodka 1/4 Cup Orange Juice 1. Combine the first three ingredients (FLOUR, SALT, SUGAR) in a large mixing bowl, combine 2. Cube the butter and combine it along with the Crisco into the flour mixture, rubbing the fats into the flour until it resembles coarse bread crumbs 3. measure out and combine the vodka and OJ, then drizzle the wet mixture over the flour mixture until moist enough to easily form a ball. (I often find that I don’t need all of the liquid, but just in case I need it, I measure out the full amount.) *4. Refrigerate the dough for 1 hour (up to 24), roll out on a well floured surface *Ok, so I never do this part. I know, it’s wrong. But I don’t care and I’ve never had complications because of it. Furthermore, who has that kind of time? Just know that you should have a well floured surface, I sometimes even lay down plastic wrap and then flour that so I don’t have to worry about picking up my pie dough afterwards; you can simply lift the up the plastic wrap and — voila! rolled out pie dough.
“First we eat, then we do everything else.”
-MFK Fisher” |
